Clara's Origin
by Hoodedgenius98
Summary: After escaping her kidnappers young Clara accidentally rescues a certain trouble magnet. keeping someone alive while keeping more secrets than is healthy and dealing with Dumbledore how will Clara cope? WARNING: casual swearing, innuendo's, fem/oc. Please Review.
1. Intro

Intro

Fate

Welcome to the wizarding world A creation of mine and Maggie's (magic) A mortal man 'jebus crost or something 'managed to make a deal with Maggie for otherworldly powers to save his people from the Romans and after a debate between all the cosmic entities we decided to allow mortals to have a connection to Maggie through an injection of magical energy into the universe after Maggie and Gaia (life) Altered some humans to be able to channel magic including jebus (I think that's his name) who just wasted our gift so me and Dave (Destiny) fuckeled with him making him slightly insane making him claim to be the son of 'god' and eventually die nailed to A cross and not the fun kind. This was back when thana' (death) didn't have her reapers or thestrals to help so he was wandering about a week later. After Thana' took Jesus (that's his name!) To purgatory For misusing our gifts, we decided to give our blessings when the mage is young when we give our blessings to them they manifest as abilities and such. My blessings usually manifest as the ability to see possible future events or making prophecy's or a greater understanding of everything. And the others give allsorts. Ranging from summonable items/weapons to body alterations to abilities.

Anyways I'm rambling this is the story of a mage girl that is the first since Jesus to be blessed by us all.

Our story begins 13 months after that fateful Halloween.

December 5th 1982

On the request of the ministry Lucius Malfoy is outside a muggle house after a strong magical surge knocked out all local inhabitants and tripping all the sensory wards.

"Why must they send me to the filthy muggle areas." He drawled

Walking into the house he sees a 2 year old knelt by her mother's head trying to wake her up. "Please wake up mummy I'm sowwy, pwease wake up." The little girl cried bursting into tears. Looking at the girl Lucius was about to silence the girl when he felt a strong magical pulse come from the girl. Quickly stunning her Lucius grabbed the girl and left for home.

-End intro-


	2. Chapter 1- A chance meeting

A/N: I'm gonna use the cosmic entities as exposition and to hint at things to come and in place of these. Oh and updates for this and any other stories I have will be random.

* * *

Pov-Clara

I was sat on the bed putting on my boots when the floorboards outside the door creaked under the weight of my warden, I stood up and Stretched in preparation to escape my prison for the last 5 years my life. I was brought here when I was 2 to be some Dork Lords weapon I grew up in this prison with beliefs from the 1700's forced on me which is complete bollocks. My prison or 'room' as my captor likes to put it is a small bedroom with a basic metal bed with a trunk at the foot of the bed there were red splotches over the bare wooden floor and the walls where my blood had dried over the years I have been captive in this hell.

"On your feet you little bitch get where I can see you. You should be honoured that you will be of use to our lord when he returns" came the silky tone of my torturer/warden Lucius 'I was imperioused' Malfoy. I felt a tingling on my mental barriers the tell-tale sign of a legitimacy attack smirking I called out "Snivelus, last time you tried to get in here you couldn't speak forwards for a month so be a good little child and stop or I'll do something you'll regret." kicking the bat out of my mind was laughably easy once I brought up all his child hood memories.

I felt a sharp slap across my face bringing me back to my situation and my escape plan it was fairly simple get a wand kill or incapacitate Malfoy and run which will be easier because I've mastered my first Animagus form.

My first Animagus form is a now extinct breed of dragon called a fairy dragon. now you expect all types dragons to be large fearsome creatures that can kill with minimal effort well your wrong to a point because the fairy dragon has all the power of all the deadliest dragons compressed into an adorable cat sized package what also makes them desirable some are capable of mimicking the Phoenix's teleportation ability. Making them highly sought after pets. But due to poachers and idiots trying to force the teleportation ability to cultivate they are now extinct. The other I know nothing about all I know is its a big cat.

Getting up from the repeated crucios I brushed off the dirt on me and ran at Lucius. Snapping his wand in his hand I threw a ball of Chrono-Energy at him freezing him in place and I blasted the wall down and jumped out into the fresh air Taking a deep breath and with a puff of smoke where I once was, was a dark purple dragon with gold strips running from head to tail no bigger than a house cat and unfurling my wings I took off into the night sky. Looking back I saw some emerald lights fly into the air.

After flying for however long I transformed back in a farmer's field and felt my exhaustion catch up to me crawling into a bush I fell asleep

* * *

When I awoke I found myself in a sparsely decorated room, I tried getting up but I was startled when the door creaked open revealing an elderly man carrying a tray.

"Ah finally aurora has awoken, I saw you land in my field and crawl under the bush I brought you in and put you in the guest room cos that bush wouldn't be comfortable."

Examining the elderly man, he was wearing sunglasses and had a moustache, I stared at him. He looked familiar

"Now judging by the looks of ya I'd guess you were 7 or 8, and based on the fact we're in the countryside I'm gonna guess you've just escaped from somewhere or you've run away from home but the first option is likely due to the manner of your landing. You are a witch and quite intelligent, if I was a criminal you would probably be a decent victim however as I'm not a monster and instead a decent person you can stay here as long as you want on the condition that you carry on my legacy. I never had kids of my own and I ain't getting any younger I've mastered wandless magic and created masterpieces in my younger years." Looking at the old man I agreed.

* * *

2 years later Uncle Stan got killed by Lucy Malfoy who had managed to find me, gus managed to distract him long enough to let me get away. After Flying for what felt like ages I was over a cookie-cutter suburb, Exhausted I landed in a large oak tree and closed my eyes to sleep.

* * *

I woke up abruptly to a rock hitting me in the side. looking down I saw what the flying object's intended target was meant to be, a scrawny kid no older than 10 with round wire frame glasses and a mop of messy black hair badly covering a lightning bolt scar on his forehead and wearing clothes way to big for him, the one who threw the rock was a kid the same age as the other but was easily mistakable for a baby whale on legs. The tub of lard shouted up "come on down and get your beating freak!"

Pissed off I let out a little roar causing lardo to run off screaming like the pig he is. The green eyed boy slowly looked up at me with wide eyes. Looking into those vibrant green eyes I saw the same repressed look of pain I had. In a shaky voice he said "what are you?" I gave him a look of disbelief I said in parcel tongue "I'm a fucking budgie. What does it look like?"

To my surprise he responded in parcel "sorry ma'am I just haven't seen one of your kind before" surprised by his use of serpent tongue I responded with "what are the chances i run into a little wizard who just so happens to be a speaker" the boy blinked at me and said "I'm a what?" smirking I replied "you're a wizard kid and a fucking good one I'd wager by the aura you emit" the kid responded shocked "I think you've made a mistake. I mean, I... can't be a... a wizard. I mean, I'm... just... Harry. Just Harry." "Well, 'Just Harry'... did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared?"

(At that moment in a small pub in Hogsmeade a certain half-giant sneezed into a tankard of Fire-whiskey...and lord chaos cackled in at his tea party with a rabbit, a mouse and a bound Thana' who was wearing a blue dress.)

A look of realization hit him as he worked through what I just said. A growl of hunger erupted from both our stomachs letting me know of the time, one thing I will miss from my captivity is the Delicious meals dobby cooked up 'gotta remember to free the little sod'. "Back in a sec Harry" getting up I flew round the neighbourhood looking for some food to 'borrow' I spotted an unattended fruit stall taking the opportunity I swooped down and grabbed in my claws two punnets of fresh strawberries and flew back to the tree with Harry in. Hovering in front of him I said "A little help here?" Startled he reached out and grabbed both punned opened them while I settled down in front of him "there you go" Harry said pocketing the lids pulling one in front of me I said "that one's for you kid" he looked up to find me digging into my punnet strawberries looking up I said "something on my face?" Feeling some strawberry slide down my cheek "If you don't mind me asking What are you?" He asked grabbing a strawberry. I replied "I'm the only fairy dragon left in existence." after we finished eating I sent Harry on his way. Watching him go my draconic instincts urged me to follow 'the weedy hatchling' so trusting my instincts I silently followed him to 4 privet drive where I saw him get pulled inside by a purple faced walrus and a horse faced woman. Reverting to my human form underneath the living room window I peaked in on the inhabitants.

Inside the living room the walrus was taking his belt off while the mini Michelin man and the horse took turns insulting Harry and his parents when I had enough and pounded on the door the horse opened the door ignoring her I barged through the house To find the walrus whipping Harry with his belt seeing red i summoned a weird sword which I swung and hit walrus in his fat neck with it decapitating the fat bastard I rounded on the horse faced woman to find her crying and hugging her obese son who was crying as well and had the smell of piss around him "Don't fucking move" I growled at them, turning to Harry to check him over I saw a lattice of scars all over his back and some new bleeding gashes casting many healing charms on him after making him unconscious. When I was done I began packing all of Harry's belongings when I was done I kicked Vernon's head at the two remaining people making them whimper in terror.

Harry woke up to see me shouting at Petunia and Dudley With Vernon's corpse laid on the floor blood gushing out the space his neck was Turning round to look at him "ah good your awake time to leave Harry say goodbye to these inspirations for birth control you'll never be seeing them again." I said calmly to him walking into the kitchen "oh and get everything you own we ain't coming back" I grabbed all the beer and other alcoholic beverages they had and stuffed it into my pack. Looking round the house I took everything of value and also put them in my pack along with some food and drink from the kitchen when I was done with my raid of the house

I raided the Dursley's wallets and anywhere they may hide money I then used legitimacy on the Dursleys to steal pin codes and rewrote their memory's of the events where Vernon killed Harry for breaking a valuable vase then burned the body and his meagre possessions deep in the nearby woods so the freaks won't find it To come home to find a stranger robbing their house only to be killed by an accomplice by a sword to the throat.

CO

Harry came Into the living room where I was relaxing and cleaning Xiànshí with Vernon's t-shirt with Petunia and Dudley unconscious on the floor with the window smashed inwards and the house messed up with things broken. "What did you do to them?" Harry asked cautiously " "I gave them what they deserved they are currently living through everything they put you through until the moment they 'killed you' at which point they will wake up with false memory's where Vernon killed you, burned your corpse and possessions only to come home to two burglars robbing their house and Vernon getting decapitated in front of them. It is close enough to the truth and whoever put up the wards around this house Will be fooled into thinking your dead. "I answered casually inspecting the sword that seems to hold a chunk of space "oh and to further create the memory I smashed that window and we are going to stop partway along to sell everything we took. Then buy you some decent clothing not those rags they put you in." After a few moments of sitting there looking at the sword Harry finally addressed the elephant in the room "Who are you?" He blurted out, dismissing the fire I sat up and replied "my name is Clara Hill and I escaped from a posh twat about a week ago who was trying to raise me to be the perfect weapon for some dark lord with some ma~ajor daddy issues. And you are Harry James Potter. You are also what the sheeple call The-boy-who-lived because you 'killed' the same dark lord Voldemort or as I call him Mort or Tom depending Any questions?" Smirking at his gobsmacked expression I wrapped the T-shirt around Xiànshí and placed it into my pack.

Getting bored of his expression I flicked a mini fireball at his forehead right on his scar causing black ooze to come out and a blood curdling scream to tear through the house and the neighbourhood 'It appears he had a unwanted hitchhiker, ah well at least his mind will work better now and his core will be released.' I thought to my self Looking at my now unconscious companion. Shrugging of that train of thought I picked up a vial and scrapped the black goop off his face, looking over his scrawny body making sure all the goop is off I stoppered the vial then walking into the kitchen I filled a bowl full of water I went and emptied its contents on his face. "what was that for?" He demanded Wiping the water off his face, "You passed out an I poured water on you to wake you up, Your welcome by the way" I replied like it was the most obvious thing ever. "Now get up we're leaving... unless you want to stay and quite possibly face their wrath or worse depending on who the first to arrive is. Your choice." Walking out the door to the back garden I heard Harry shout "WAIT! I'm coming" not even turning I could sense Harry running up to me with his small bag of things. Turning round I transformed into my Animagus form with a puff of smoke. Making use of his state of shock I climbed up the entire length of his body and perched on his shoulder And nudged his head with a wing "come on Harry times-a wasting" and with a large puff of smoke the pair were gone.

CO

In a certain old goat's office many silver doodads stopped functioning but the only inhabitants were the sorting hat and Fawkes who for the first time since being forced into bonding with his current human managed to get some sleep. The sorting hat chuckles and joins Fawkes in sleep.

-End chapter 1-


	3. Chapter 2- Hogwarts express & A reveal

-Chapter 2 -Hogwarts express & A reveal-

Fate

"Hello again mortals I am here to explain some of the gifts Clara has gotten and has. To begin with let me explain the master occlumency and legitimacy this as a gift from Ollie or Lord Order to help her remain sane and keep in control."

Taking a sip of water fate continued "Next we have Xiànshí or the Reality Blade. Clara can summon this weapon from a pocket dimension it was originally made from mithril but was later coated in Lady Reality or Spatia's blood. The chrono-kinesis is dad or Father Time's gift. And mine is fore knowledge on the most possible big event/moment so no cheating on exams and lottery numbers. And for now the last one is Carlos or Lord Chaos's gift witch gives her the abilities of a metamorph but suped up to the point where she can do gender swaps but when she does discover that part she will gain a 'new roommate' as he put it he also made her a multi-Animagus. Whoops looks like I talked all the way through the trip to diagonally. It was interesting too, Clara beat up an annoying goblin, harry nearly got molested and a certain old man got 'bag-tagged' for reaching towards an eleven year old with 13 inches of wood in his hand, bye."

* * *

CO

"Your tickets for the Hogwarts Express are with your letters and I shall see the pair of you on the 1st of September. Oh and you aren't allowed to preform magic outside Hogwarts until you are 17." Finished Professor McGonagall as she exited the hotel room me and Harry have been sharing since we left his relatives House a year ago. In that time I managed to turn Harry from a quiet and nervous child into a confident person with not a single worry. The room we are staying in has 1 bedroom, a bathroom, and a small kitchenette attached to a medium sized living room. "So Harry what do you think of going to Hogwarts?" I asked my companion while I was brushing my hair once done I closed my eyes and focused on changing my natural white locks into a midnight purple with gold highlights.

"I'm excited for it Clara. Cos we are going to meet people and learn new things!" He happily replied "I'm with you apart from the fact that I have to spend seven years in the same building as the pompous twat that was convinced that I was going to be his wife. Other than the whole can of worms that's going to open including the fact that Lucy-boy will want me put on the tightest possible leash. I'm excited to go and see faces that aren't your ugly mug." I easily dodged the ballistic pillow headed my way.

CO

On the 1st of September at 10:00 we booked out of the hotel and headed to kings cross station and platform 9 3/4. On our way we came across a magical family of 7 gingers how did we know they were magical? That was simple the mother was ranting about muggles and the father was staring intently at a rubber duck as if it held the secrets of the universe. Putting on a Stereotypical cockney accent I walked up to them and shouted.

"oi! if ya gonna insul' any ol' geeza, make sure ya do it propa, also why de fuck are you looking at that thing mate ya look like a right twonk and wot's a muggle?"(translation-for-non-British-readers or if you have no idea what that meant: hey! if you're going to insult Anyone make sure you do it properly, also why on earth are you looking at that thing you look like a utter fool and could you quite possibly tell me what a muggle is?)

And strolled off in the direction of the platform both of us giggling along the way. After running Through a fake wall and nearly crashing into an awe struck Harry we were Finally sat on the Hogwarts express. Sitting down I Opened a book on spell creation and Harry was Fiddling with a glass orb the size of a tennis ball part way along the youngest of the gingers we ran into Poked his head in and asked "can I sit here every where else is full?" Not looking up I replied with "the train was 'obtained' by the minster for magic around the time the statue of secrecy was implemented when nearly 15'000 students attended Hogwarts, I highly doubt that the train is full, more than likely this is the first compartment you saw that had space in and didn't have any 'dark' people in. Am I right Ronald Billius Weasley 6th child of Arthur and Molly Weasley also keep that fucking mouldy shoe brush away from me before I incinerate it. also tell your mother that she almost single headedly revealed the existence of magic by shouting about platform 9 3/4 ." Stunned I pushed the intruder out of our compartment and threw his bog brush of a rat (which didn't have a burning tail at all. Honest) at his face shutting the door behind it. Looking at Harry I started laughing at his gobsmacked expression him soon joining in. Finally calming down I put my book away and gave Harry a collar "put this on me when I transform it should disguise me to look like a cat" turning into my dragon form I moved so Harry could put the collar on me Once it clicked shut casting the illusion over me turning my purple and gold form into that of a purple eyed tuxedo Their was a knock on the door and after Harry's "Enter" a bushy haired girl came in asking "hi can I join you in your compartment please?" Harry gave me a quizzical look "she can join" I hissed looking back at the girl Harry stated "on one condition " "what is it" the girl replied "You tell us your name" he said with a smile that soon got removed with a Fireball Right between the eyes resulting in the attention of our new companion to be brought to me who squee'd and quickly pick me up and I definitely did not begin purring at my chin being stroked what so ever. "My name is Hermione Granger and who is this adorable little thing?" Hermione asked "nice to meet you Hermione that 'adorable little thing' as you put it, is a little demon that my friend has called." "Kitty Purry" "Kitty Purry", "yay" Harry replied annoyed at my interruptions.

CO

After a while I got bored doing nothing so while Harry went off to the toilet. I turned to face Hermione and backfliped onto the floor turning human and sat down on the seat opposite her and pulled a cold beer out of my trunk Opening it I asked "want one? I also have cola and some shit called green cow that Harry likes don't know why tastes like shit." Looking at me Hermione looked at her lap then at me then at the can and went "huh?" Playing dumb I once again asked "do you want a drink ?"at her nod I asked "beer, green cow or cola?" "Cola please" throwing her a cola I said "my name's Clara Hill. I'm the cat you have been petting for the past 20 minutes. There's a pussy joke in there somewhere... anyway I'm a natural Animagus, in other words I can turn into an animal at will from birth. Don't tell anyone or I may be experimented on … What house you hoping for?" "Well from what I've read I like the sound of Ravenclaw or Gryffindor how about you?" "Well I don't really care but I don't want to go to Slytherin because that is where all the blood ideologists go and that isn't something you want 24/7 We would be insulted, hexed, cursed, bullied and we couldn't rely on the teachers to help or the head of house cos they would just cover it up and if we did die because of them all the students responsible would get was a slap on the wrist and a don't do it again." "What about headmaster Dumbledore?" "he preaches on about second chances did you know during the last wizarding war fumblemore ordered the light to stun only in a war stating that killing isn't the way and that they can be redeemed and claimed that anyone not helping him is dark. Including all the neutrals and the ones that wanted to stay out of it." "B-but he can't be he's the leader of the light And the only one you-know-who ever feared and..." "And he was responsible for the rise of moldyshorts by encouraging the bullying of Slytherin students through inaction."

After going back and forth trying to convince the other I finally got fed-up and said "a werewolf student went to the shrieking shack every full moon to not bite anyone a Gryffindor who knew told a Slytherin to follow them, the Slytherin got infected with lycanthropy Dumbledore as headmaster over ruled the expulsion of the Gryffindor and they only got a week of detentions and the infected Slytherin got detention for a month for being out of bounds after curfew and Dumb-as-a-door passed the whole thing off as boys will be boys. In summary the lion sent the snake to a werewolf hoping the snake died, the snake got infected but didn't die but due to anti werewolf laws the infected Slytherin couldn't get a job or have a livelihood so was reduced to a homeless beggar. And the Gryffindor got away with a slap on the wrist. Tell me that is a suitable punishment for destroying someone's life" looking ashamed Hermione responded with "no it isn't" taking a swig of my beer Hermione said "you shouldn't be drinking that Clara." Looking at her square in the eyes and said "this is my 10th beer today, there are kids drinks with a higher alcohol content, magic gives us a higher tolerance than those without it also makes us harder to hurt so I'm good." Resisting the urge to create a fireball I got a her diary out of her trunk and started to read it.

Harry came back in not long after with a smile on his face and his clothes in a mess sighing I said "How much did you use?" "Not much" glaring at him I asked again "How much did you use Harry?" Giving up he said "a bottle" "did they deserve it?" " he called me 'a filthy mudblood' and then his goons shoved me out the way" shutting Hermione's diary and passing it to her with a cheeky wink I stood up and stretched "which way did the brat go And how long?" With a evil grin on my face "Towards the front, blond prick can't miss him with the two examples why you shouldn't 'keep it in the family' if you know what I mean" "back in a minute guys I don't wanna miss this. Oh and page 27 line 12 think the opposite and you'll be close" Shifting to my dragon form (Collar snapped off earlier) I ran off to find Harry's Victims.

* * *

After a blur of screaming, a large black marital aid that would make a big dragon feel inadequate violently and forcefully shoved up their rectal cavities and a white rabbit thing dressed like a blue Mexican electrician going 'bwah' while driving a Spanish yellow tic tak powered shopping cart. I was sat at the entrance with a bowl of popcorn in front of me. That is the scene all the prefects stumbled upon and several others, giving the dragon equivalent of a laugh from my front row seat I nudged the popcorn towards the ginger twins that seem mesmerised by the chaos. Using my magic I created a camera in front of me and started taking as many pictures as possible.

Satisfied with my collection of souvenirs to sell I trotted off back to the others leaving a confused and horrified crowd behind me I trotted off back to my friends passing by Several other people who squeaked and hid upon the sight of my draconic form while others like the Slytherins and the Ravenclaws watched with wonder and/or greed in their eyes.

I ignored the lot of them...

Until I got swiftly scooped up by a hand on my chest causing me make a noise I definitely did not make If I did 'which I definitely didn't' it would have been somewhere between a 'murp' and a 'eep'. I was about to incinerate whomever dared to pick me up when I heard Harry chuckle "you nearly passed us you know" I looked over his shoulder to see Hermione giggling. looking at Harry then at the bench next to our giggling comrade then at his hand then back Harry who seemed to get the message and placed me down as stealthily as a small purple and gold dragon could move I climbed up next to Hermione's head and unleashed a spark of fire at her causing her to squeal, smug at my triumph I glided to my seat and turned human.

CO

I was woken from my meditation by Hermione nudging me. "Time to get changed into our uniforms Clara Harry has gone to change in a toilet." Giving my new friend a smug look I plucked my T-shirt causing it to turn into a white blouse and black tie. Then doing the same to my shorts causing them to turn into a skirt.

"Done." Feeling the annoyed glare Hermione sent me I said "yes I did magic. No Its allowed and no I'm not telling you how I did it." Opening my left eye I heard Hermione gasp "Your eyes are gold! They were brown earlier. "opening my other eye to reveal a deep purple I replied "no my left is gold and my right is purple. My hair is dark purple with gold highlights. Ever heard of a glamour?" Seeing her shake her head I stood up and stretched "ERM Clara you have a tail and cat ears" looking at her and rubbing my head feeling two furry ears "fuck, I put to much power into the cancelation I must have deactivated my locket. Shit!" Looking at her With panic in my eyes "you cannot tell anyone I am a neko nor can you Tell Harry, this is a secret you take to your grave and beyond." I could feel Hermione's confusion about it. "Let me explain, I am a cat-girl otherwise known as a neko ,in all of Magical-Europe neko are near non-existent the only place where they are around is japan where there are two types of neko, artificial and natural ill tell you more later, anyway in magical Britain there is a hierarchy of blood. If you have all magical grandparents you are considered pureblood if you have only one set of magical grandparents you are considered a half blood if you have no magical parents you are considered muggle born or to the racists mudbloods now there are ways around this which we will talk about later But no matter where you are on the scale if you become classified as a magical creature you can kiss any chances of a normal life goodbye along with any rights you had. werewolves, nekos, veela, centaurs, vampires and more are considered magical creatures and thus have little to no rights due to the racists." Wrapping my tail round my waist and putting on my pointy hat,

( Carlos is sat in the main room struggling to breathe due to laughing to hard at the lazy stereotype)

I sat down. "Tha… That's horrible!" Looking at her I gave her a sad smile "that's how their system is. The rich in power claiming bullshit reasons why they are there and the poor and new having to deal with lord Farquaad's newest law forcing werewolves to sign a register or face life in Azkaban then there are the blood purists claiming that muggleborns stole magic. Oh and them deciding any magic that they are to stupid to understand is considered dark and therefore is illegal to practice. Its just one huge mess that is going to end in a massive civil war that will either kill everyone or expose the wizarding world or both."

After letting harry back in around 20 minutes later a voice could be heard Through the train "we are approaching Hogsmeade station students are advised to leave their luggage on the train." Looking at all our stuff I exclaimed "thank fuck for that." Pulling a pouch the size of my fist out my trunk and pocketing it. "Keeping that on me though don't want it confiscated."

Following the mob of students off the train onto the platform our attention was drawn to a giant man calling out "first-years over 'ere" following my friends to the giant who led us down a trail to a collection of boats calling out "no more'n four to a boat" the three of us weren't joined by anyone else "Right then... FORWARDS!" As he spoke the small fleet of boats cast off from the riverbank. After a few moments Hagrid called "you'll be getting your first view of 'ogwarts just round this bend upon rounding the bend we were beholden with a picturesque view of a magnificent castle with the sunset behind it. Pulling up on the lakeside nearest the castle we began the treck up to the castle.

* * *

Fate

"EVERYONE!" I called in our conference room once everyone came down the corridor. "Why is Clara a neko all of a sudden? Do you know how many changes that I have to make? Parts of second year have to change and all of third through fifth and don't get me started on how the blessings will manifest." Looking at my fellow entities everyone looked at Carlos in his mad hatter getup "Don't be looking at me fey it fucks with my shit as well. Sides only people who can do this stuff is tick tock, mags and the dynamic duo over there." Dad spoke up saying "I looked into her future and it would make things harder on her if she was not a cat girl as certain events are best to avoid. As to the change in blessings nothing will change as due to certain parameters in her family tree allow nothing to change I just had Gaia activate the neko gene in her as a foetus and made her necklace an ancient artifact that once belonged to her neko ancestor since before the statute of secrecy was implemented. Now if you will excuse me I have a half-ghost to confuse." With that dad left. looking at the others I said "well that explains that plot hole, now Thana' about your hallows would you mind if I scheduled the wand and stone to be destroyed?"

-End chapter 2-


	4. Chapter 3- Welcome to Hogwarts

-Start Chapter 3: Welcome to Hogwarts

fate

"Now you heard about Dad's change to Clara's genetics Now onto more of the blessings first up we have Dave's blessing which is 'a soulmate to happily grow old with' as he puts it... I wonder if polyjuice is involved some how... Any way moving on to~o Maggie's gift which i~is soulmagic, infallible teleportation and a power boost. Gaia's blessing is two rare eggs that will come into her possession Any guesses on the contents? And finally we have come to Thana's gift which is 'a scythe and cloak from my collection' which is to unlock 3rd year If I understand right. Anyway that's my job done now next time you will probably have a info dump from someone else. Bye"

CO

Clara POV

After walking up to the front door of the castle Hagrid knocked on the giant doors with his large hands. After three knocks Professor McGonagall opened the door "all present and accounted for Professor" with that Professor McGonagall led us into a side room and told us to wait and smarten ourselves up and then promptly left. After some ghosts drifted through that made some girls shreik. Everyone started talking about how we where going to be sorted after the ideas of a test and having to lift something where brought up. The moronic ginger opened his trap and spouted out "my brothers told me we had to wrestle a troll" swiftly turning to him I said "What kind of moron would put untrained children in a fight against a troll. Use what little of a brain you have and think. Knowing magicals its probably something stupid like poking a mind reading rabbit or putting on a hat. Also you have a bit of shit on your nose." Before he could respond Professor McGonagall came in and recited a speech about houses and points. "now follow me into the great hall for the sorting". Professor McGonagall led the group into the into the Majesty of the great hall. Following the group down the center of the hall I looked at the head table and a smirk grew on my face as I saw Snape and Dumbledor sat up there leaning over to harry I whispered "ask the hat to go to claw or puff." Looking to the front just in time to see Professor McGonagall placing an old looking hat on a three legged stool.

Tuning out the song and upon hearing Professor McGonagall call out "Hill, Clara" I walked up and sat on the stool with the sorting hat covering my eyes. Waiting a minute I heard "ahh the blessed one has finally arrived how are you little cat?" Internally smirking I replied "I'm good goswind, when was the last time you had a wash because you stink, bad." Chuckling at my remark the hat replied "its been a while since anyone has called me that and I have been asking albus since he became headmaster but the old man refuses thinking it will remove all magic from me. Any who let's get you sorted eh? Plenty of courage I see. Oh a multi animagus as well ask Minerva for help if you wish. Now all four would fight tooth and nail for you in their house not the wrecks they are today, I bet they would weep at what Hogwarts has become. As the only house that hasn't strayed away from their founders path. It better be Hufflepuff!" Shouting the last part out as McGonagall retrieved the hat allowing me to walk away. Winking at harry I walked over to Hufflepuff and sat down in an empty space. And the sorting resumed ,with Hermione joining me in Hufflepuff, until McGonagall called out "Potter, Harry" causing awed whispers to break out around the hall as Harry walked up to the stool I saw Snape and Dumbledore Perk up, swiftly throwing out a legitimacy probe at harry I warned him of possible interference. After a few moments the hat called out "unless you are finally going to wash me don't you dare interfere with the sorting Albus retract your confundus charm immediately." After a few moments the hat called out "Hufflepuff!" causing scattered cheers to erupt all over the hall as harry walked over and sat down opposite me after the everyone calmed down the sorting resumed with me tuning out the rest of the sorting.

As the last person sat down, Dumbledore stood up and called out "now to the first years welcome and to returning students welcome back, now I am sure you are all Hungry so I will leave you with these few words: Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak. Dig in." After the goat's weird speech food appeared on the serving platters. "I wonder at what point the old fart became senile? Before or after getting a beard?" I said upon hearing me harry responded with "defiantly before that madness has had time to grow and get worse It probably started upon his lover's imprisonment. Its only a matter of time before he is wandering around wearing a pair of pants and tweaking some nitwit's oddment while they blubber. The fact that he is holding three high demand jobs all at once probably isn't helping." At hearing that most people on Hufflepuff were looking at us. "Did you know he claimed magical guardianship of you after your parents died And that he placed you with your delightful relatives that treated you worse than the malfoy's treat house elves. OH! Do you know what an obscural is?" At his negative response and the entirety of Hufflepuff and a few Griffindor and slytherin students listening in I continued "an obscural is a child under the age of ten who repress their magic so mitch out of fear that it causes an explosion turning the child into a nigh unstoppable force of destruction. I'm telling you this because if I hadn't got you out of there you would have become one of the largest ever, that's why I had you learning those tricks I was making you relieve pressure on your core." Looking at everyone else I called out "those boy-who-lived books are lies and you are an idiot if you believe them. Oh and harry surviving the killing curse from Mort is bogus as well if you think a 18 month old baby can deflect anything You are a fool it was more than likely his mum accidentally invoked some ancient or forgotten magic." Turning to my food I started eating.

* * *

CO

After the feast and Dumbledore's stupid warnings about avoiding the 3rd floor corridor (IN A SCHOOL CONTINING TEENAGERS AND CHILDREN!). we got dismissed to our common rooms. In the common room professor sprout Was stood in the centre with a warm smile on her face " welcome to Hufflepuff, I am your head of house and the herbology teacher professor sprout if you have any problems come see me Or any older student. The dorms are down those two tunnels behind me right for girls and left for boys. Tomorrow is a free day for first years to learn their way around oh and there is a get together every other Saturday to help you guys settle in, any questions?" raising my hand i asked "what is the procedure for students who are abused at home? " with a sigh she said the most i can do is file a complaint with the ministry and the abused child will be sent to live with a willing guardian if the claim has any Merit. Now any further question?" at no response professor sprout continued "now its nearly curfew so go up to your dorms boys on the left girls to the right and its two per room please your things will be brought in by a house elf when you choose your rooms. Ill do a quick lesson on house elves tomorrow morning for the muggle-born students." Leaning close to harry I whispered "That includes you Harry, see you in the morning. Oh and good luck." At the conclusion of professor sprout's speech she concluded "now I recommend sorting the room situation out and unpacking your things. If you have any problems or want to chat feel free to go to a prefect or come to me. Good night sweet dreams." With that she left. Looping my arm through Hermione's I half dragged her down the girl's corridor to the first year section and as the first ones there we chose the first room we came across as we stepped in our names appeared on the door. Looking round at our room for the next 7ish years I saw two single four poster beds on either side of the room with a wardrobe and chest of drawers next to it in the centre of the room was a table with a couple chairs presumably for study, and a door on the back wall leading to the bathroom. "dibs on this one!" I said flopping on to the bed on the left hearing two loud *cracks* I called out a thanks to the house elves. Seeing Hermione's face appear over me she asked "what are house elves?" I respond with "house elves are incapable of producing their own magic so bond themselves to witches and wizards and in return they do all the cooking, cleaning etc. some of the families abuse their house elves while others treat them as a part of the family. Oh and they don't need or want paying or holidays." Sitting up a little I see Hermione sat on her bed in her pyjamas listening intently. "when is your birthday? Mine is 24th of September" I asked "wow mine is 19th of September." "what is your natural hair colour?" "white and my natural eye colour is gold, hmm what is your favourite book?". after many more questions about each other we drifted off to sleep.

* * *

-?-

"hello mortals... the writer decided to forgo any actual description of the protagonist... I am here to provide that information … the information is on the table behind me … bye"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO DO SOME SECRET AGENT SHIT AGAIN CARLOS?"

Name: Clara Hill

Gender: Female

Heritage: 35% Japanese, 10% kitsune 35% neko 20% British

Hair colour: white (natural) Dark purple with gold highlights (current)

Eye colour: gold (right) purple (left)

Race: Kitsune-Neko (hidden using medallion)

Abilities: Currently- Normal Magic, Animagus Transformation's (Fairy Dragon (pretty much Spyro) and Fennec Fox-(google it)), Weapon mastery, metamorphagus, occlumency, legitimacy, minor chrono-kinesis, Wandless Magic, foresight (most likely future), illusions, pyrokinesis (spirit fire), tail duplication (increases power),

Appearance: generally keeps hair in a spiked pixie cut, clothing consists of a long hooded black trench coat over a dark purple t-shirt, with jeans and trainers. Like all nekos, after puberty Clara develops a large bust while her white tail becomes slightly fluffier.

Notes: Due to kitsune heritage, tails can appear up to 9 increasing power with each tail, is capable of ignoring most lethal spells at 4 tails even The Killing Curse, at 2 tails Clara is capable of producing spirit fire which, like passion fire produced by veela, is capable of purifying a horcrux and with each tail increases power. WARNING! Tails appear when sufficiently angry. only their chosen mate and cute kittens are capable of calming down Clara at 3 tails, though the kittens have to be especially cute.

-End Chapter 3-


	5. Chapter 4- Snape? Snape? Snaaaape!

-chapter 4, Snape? Snape? Snaaaaape!-

Third person

With a mad cackle Carlos rolls in on a office chair "well hello puny mortals i guess it's my turn to explain some stuff to ya. i'm Carlos the entity of chaos essentially i stir the shit up. Now what to do what to do... Could talk politics nah that's a cluster fuck ... I know! Lets talk about long, hard, shafts that tend to be **5 inches or more in length** and seemingly have minds of their own though people don't admit it. yes you guessed it I'm talking about **wands** and more specifically Clara's wand, **aspen, cherry, elder** and **vine** make up the main wand the core is neko hair, thunder bird feather and thesteral blood, creating a powerful wand, if its in bold you can look up the meaning, yes I can speak in bold, the wand was made by a blind elf and later coated in mithril by **Dracula** , but at some point it got lost in the early 200's and I fount it vibrating under thana's pillow a month ago quite sticky, I wonder what she and gaia where doing in there ;p yes I speak emoji aswell, anyone see that sad bastard that left a review for the last chapter? that guy should really get a life. now the agreement is that we say we talked through boring, mundane events that the writer couldn't be arsed to write, so 'I talked through the entirety of the story until the divergence point in 5th year after Clara has broken several of Umbridge's … grk!" Suddenly getting choke slammed into the floor by ollie "Carlos everyone will be pissed if you give that crappy excuse, remember last time you pissed everyone off and made Maggie cry by turning her elves into what they are now? so what were you going to say?" With the pressure on his neck being released slightly Carlos says "I talked through the classes to the morning of their first potions class, please don't make me clean out mittens' room I'll be a good lord of chaos and I won't **dress thana' up as alice and force her to attend a tea party**."

* * *

Clara pov

Entering the dungeons headed to potions class I ask Harry "who do you think Snape will get pissed off at more, you who is a reminder of A. how he fucked up with your mother, B. how he lost your mum to your dad and C. that he has no friends, or me a smug arse-hole that irritates the living shit out of him and maybe left a surprise for when he sits down." thinking for a moment harry responded "I think me cos I'm more unknown, wait what did you do?" before I could respond the door opened and everyone filed into the classroom. Me, Harry and Hermione took the seats nearest the door and waited for the lesson to start.

After about a minute the door to Snape's office swung open revealing the greasy bat of the dungeon himself, who swiftly strolled to the front of the classroom and with a flick of his robes turned to face the class and in a calm tone took role call stopping at my name looking up and spotting me with a nigh unnoticeable amount of fear in his eyes, when he reached harry he looked up and remarked "ah... Harry Potter our new … _Celebrity"_

When Snape finished role call he started his speech "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will understand the beauty of a softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses … I can teach you how to brew fame, bottle glory, even stopper death … if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads that I have to teach" silence followed his little speech.

"Bones!" Snape said suddenly "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" a bewildered looking redhead responded "a sleeping potion of some kind?" with a sneer Snape asked "Potter! where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" pointing to me harry said "In her pocket." looking to me Snape said "Hill what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" looking at Snape I replied "apart from the name I would guess that they are different parts of the same plant?" "Close enough ,Hill! The bezoar in your pocket. is it fresh?" he responded with a sneer. Looking at the sneering man I said "should be I got them earlier."

The lesson carried on ok-ish from there, the only hiccup was that Snape 'accidentally' knocked over mine and Harry's vial causing them to fall on the floor fortunately I had charmed them unbreakable. "oops seems with no potion you both get a zero for today" Snape said. bending down to pick up the dropped potions and activate a special trigger rune on the side of his desk I said "hang on Sir. I got them made unbreakable incase of someone accidentally knocking them on the floor." putting them back on the desk I turned and walked back to my seat and waited for the show to start. whispering to me harry asked "so what is the surprise for Snape?" smiling at him I i whispered back "Just wait." As soon as the last person handed in their finished potion and returned to their desk. Snape stood up and with a puff of smoke his dark greasy hair became blonde pigtails and his black robes became a pink skin-tight catsuit with the word 'fabulous' emblazoned on the front in glitter, after a few seconds Snape leaped up onto his desk and started singing 'Barbie girl' by Abba after a stunned silence everyone burst out into fits of laughter.

Once Snape's singing ended a puff of smoke enveloped Snape again and he was now wearing a mesh shirt, a Lavender coloured leather vest and tight leather trousers with a metal ring on a chain around his neck. (Thana': Sup, look up earring magic ken for a reference.) turning an unusual shade of red Snape yelled "CLASS DISSMISSED, NOW GET OUT!" before turning and heading towards his office giving everyone a full view of the message on his rear which read "Dumbledore's. Trophy." earning scattered chuckles from the more intelligent students.

* * *

Carlos: This is an Inconspicuous linebreak. they may appear when the writer cant figure out what to write. also the ones of us able to affect reality will make comments about shit in brackets. Now back to this horrific story.

* * *

Soon Friday morning rolled around and with it came flying lessons with Ravenclaw which caused some mixed results "Hermione could you stop spouting off facts about the wood used to make brooms please? it's going to be fine, no one expects us to do any crazy stunts, at most we'll be asked to do a circuit around the courtyard." I said to my frantic room mate. "but..." "but nothing" I cut her off "magic makes us more resistant to damage, also magic allows ways to heal than normal mundane means. someone's bones get removed in their arm or leg? bottle of skelegrow and a kip you'll be good as new by morning. so there's nothing to worry about. ok?" looking less tense Hermione said in a Small voice "I'm scared of heights." letting out a sigh I pulled the slightly smaller girl into a hug, wrapping my arms around her I said "I figured you were, you don't have to go high, just enough to be able to not touch the ground. how about this, I'll stay near you the entire time so if you are about to fall I'll help you down. Oh and..." suddenly the edges of my vision got blurry and I heard Hermione say in an echo "you mean this is permanent?" followed by me responding "yer a *gibberish* mio"

I was broken out of my vision? premonition? Peek on an alternate history? (fate: Any guesses as to what that event was? winner gets a short lived character named whatever they want who will be sacrificed to the great god Imhotep.) by Hermione patting my cheek "a...ara… Clara...Clara snap out of it" shaking my head I respond "sorry I must of zoned out there Mio. I was gonna say its ok I'm scared of murder bunnies they may seem cute with their little top hats and bowties but their just waiting for you to get close so they can rip your face off." (carlos: Ahh I remember making them, small white rabbits/hares that hunger for human flesh that church never saw them coming.) giggling a little Mio says "as nice as this hug is I need the bathroom" I let her go as I feel a blush appear on my face, turning round Hermione asks "Mio?" I shrug and she heads into the bathroom, as door shut behind her, I sat on my bed and sighed.

* * *

Directing my gaze away from the lone cloud in the distance and onto the glorified tree branch in front of me with a look of contempt I gently nudged the twigs attached to the back with my foot causing several to snap and fall to the ground. I called out "Madam hooch? are there any brooms that don't belong in a museum about or are all the school brooms in terrible condition?" (tick-tock: those brooms have been in use since 1299 so they are older than the flamels so yes they are about due for an upgrade.)(Carlos *dressed as Indiana Jones*: they belong in a museum!) with a quick glimpse at the brooms madam hooch says " I've been asking for them to be replaced but the school board keeps saying that there isn't the money like I'm asking for twelve dozen nimbus 2000's Rather than a dozen comet 300's" leaning over to hermione I whisper "look for the one with the most twigs, Mio, it'll fly easier, more twigs the safer it is."

After everyone had assembled madam hooch blew her whistle (Carlos: if you know what I mean.) and barked "well what are you waiting for hold your hand over your broom and say up" holding my hand over the glorified branch in front of me I will some magic into the broom and command "up" causing the thing to rise timidly into my hand as if knowing what I'll do to it later. looking round at my classmates I see only harry and Draco have gotten their brooms to rise (Carlos: eyup its one of ** _Those_** segments.) looking at Mio next to me I whisper "Imagine it rising into your hand. if that doesn't work they seem to have a better sense of self preservation than a lemming..." (Thana': the little buggers don't fling themselves off of cliffs, instead they hold an annual mass suicide event, its amazing to see how many unique ways they can kill themselves.) Madam Hooch cut in "Excellent advice Miss Hill, 5 points to Hufflepuff. For now if your broom hasn't risen pick it up."

The lesson continued on from there after correcting the grip of a couple Ravenclaws Madam Hooch called "Now when I blow my whistle you are going to kick off the ground, hover then land. 3...2...1... *FWEET!*" with the whistle everyone rose a few feet with the more nervous ones going higher looking round to Hermione I saw she had her eyes closed and a death grip on her broom moving closer and lower to her I put a hand on her shoulder and said "Your missing out on one hell of a view up there mio." and Indeed she was, the morning sun shining over the forest onto the lake with the giant squid lazily wafting a tentacle out causing rouge droplets to glisten in the light but, my eyesight makes the view even more stunning I can see the light refracting off each droplet causing mini rainbows to fly through the air.

* * *

"it must be nice" I say laid on my bed, into the darkness around me. "what must be nice?" Mio asks. "Not being alone in this life. not in the literal way, I mean there are no more kitsune neko around I'm the last of my kind. father died in the Falklands, mother, she left med school to look after me died when I was one, when my inheritance kicked in I spent a week with nine tails crying over her body turns out I had frozen time accidentally when time reverted and my tails hid, a pulse of magical energy knocked out everyone in the area and alerting the ministry, short on staff or something they sent good old Lucius Malfoy who had an elf take me to his house and he reported that it was a false alarm. I was there for 7 years beaten scared and alone I managed to escape using my animagus form, where I met Uncle Stan. The 2 years I spent with him were the most fun I had he taught me illusionism, a branch of magic he created, and he helped forge the me you see around the castle, the confident, witty, funny happy girl the mask to this sad and lonely shell of a person who doesn't even remember her mother." after a few moments of silence I say " thanks for being my friend mio." before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The Clocktower (no POV)

A rippling portal opens revealing an attractive woman with hair that looks like a galaxy steps out to meet a purple clad figure holding a staff with a clock on the end, "Ah Spatia right on time" Spatia lets out a sigh "Hey Dad can I use your monitor?" looking round to his daughter clockwork replied with a teasing smirk "You should really stop putting your monitors where Carlos can get them." a monitor flares up showing a fragment of a different reality.

 **Dimensional snippet - Harry Potter and the Secret Inheritence by daniphantomforlife**

Adriane was standing in the training hall in front of Clara, her hair was in a pixy style and she was wearing her exercise clothes since Clara had said that they would be training.

She fought not to squirm as Clara glanced her over, checking to make sure that she was dressed suitably for this sort of thing and when she realized that she was Clara nodded.

"Looks like you're ready, Today we're going to be working on your speed" She brought out a turtle shell "You're going to be wearing this bad boy" Adraine looked at her like she was crazy. "Don't look at me like that, I got this trick from an old master arts master. Like really old, I think he was older than Dumbledore too." She shook her head here "Okay enough talk about that pervert put this on and we can get to work."

Adraine stared at her like she was crazy even more so than she had been before but she took the shell and put it on her back. "What now?" Clara smirked "Now to make it heavier" Clara cast a spell on the shell that caused Adriane to fall to the floor with a shell much too heavy for her to carry on her back, which considering how strong she was and how much she could lift then it's clear that it was one heavy shell that basically everyone would have trouble with.

"Get up, I want fifty laps around the room" Clara said as she forced Adriane to her feet. "F-Fifty!" Adriane was shocked but groaned when Clara nodded, "Oh stop groaning you big baby, get going" Adriane started running the best she could around the room, she wanted to strangle whoever it was that Clara said gave her this idea.

 **Far away on the other side of the earth.**  
"Achoo!" Master Roshi rubbed his nose, "Someone must be talking about me again, maybe it's some hot babe"

"Yeah right Master Roshi. why would a hot babe be talking to you?" Krillen raised an eyebrow at them from where he was sitting.

"You never know Krillen, I am a ladies man after all." Krillen snorted "In your dreams maybe"

 **With Adriane and Clara.**

Adriane had only barely managed to finish her laps before collapsing in a heap on the floor. Clara walked over and gently, for her that is, nudged Adriane with her foot. "Hey, you still alive?" Adriane just groaned in response "Oh good I didn't kill you, get your lazy ass up training's not over yet."  
Adriane stayed where she was and glared at Clara, with one eye and shot her laser eye at her causing her to jump out of the way like Adriane knew she would. "Okay looks like someone's grumpy, take five"

After that Clara pushed her to her limits in everything, Clara only let her take a break when Adriane finished the insane task Clara had set for her. Each one was crazier than the last and Adriane was wondering where she had got the killer sharks from.

Adriane had been made to do five hundred pushups, squats, pull-ups, and anything else you could imagine even things that most people would believe was crazy. Such as Swimming with killer sharks, flying around as fast as she could while dodging some paintballs being fired at her by Clara to work on her dodging skills that were only as good as they were thanks to her being the Gryffindor seeker, something that she wasn't going to be doing anymore since she was planning on leaving after the year was over.

But throughout all of those crazy exercises, she was forced to wear the shell on her back, Adriane didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep going, already she felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go lie down and sleep for a week.

Clara was impressed that Adriane was still on her feet, not that she would ever tell her that though she didn't want people to start thinking she was going soft now did she? So she just watched in silent pride as her student completed every task that she set for her despite being exhausted.

The next thing they did was spar. Adriane was beaten into the ground by Clara so many times, sometimes Clara would grab her tail and Adriane would lose all feeling in her body. Sometimes Clara would hit her pressure points to knock her out and others she would literally beat her into the ground while holding a beer.

By the end of the day, Adriane wanted nothing more than to go lay down for a week and sleep of her exhaustion. When this was all over she was taking a long nice hot bath to soothe her poor muscles before she went to bed.

"Good, we'll continue your training like this next week to give you a break now get out of here." Adraine didn't have to be told twice and she rushed out of there after taking the shell off of her back, she never even noticed as she rushed to get away that she was a little faster now even when not using her super speed causing Clara to smirk.

"I'm going to have a lot of fun training her from now on." She smirked wider, "A lot of fun"

*end*

(A/N: this segment was written by daniphantomforlife herself go check her story out.)


	6. Chapter 5 - Puppy? PUPPY!

-Chapter _**5:**_ Puppy? PUPPY!-

Carlos Cam (ps future me umtshabalalisi wehlabathi is a jerboa have carlos cuddle it)

"Sup Puny mortals you have me again. now there was an update to the last chapter so go check that out and thanks again to daniphantomforlife for writing that, go check her story **Harry Potter and the Secret Inheritance** it's much better than this poorly written drivel written by an utterly _amazing man with a magnificent beard._ damn can't insult the egotistical _legend._ see? I can't even insult the guy even though its him writing me. _I'm gonna start the story now._ The writer couldn't be bothered to write the boring monotony of daily Hogwarts life so we jump to a random date where this happens.

* * *

Clara Pov

"On earth are you on about you Cum-stain?" I said to the blond ponse in front of me "I demand an Honor-duel at midnight in the trophy room. And address your betters properly you filthy mudblood" the entitled Cum-stain said in his high pitched voice I responded by laughing at him "wait your serious? let me laugh harder" before erupting into laughter again "if we are going by social status I'm technically a princess and lady of a couple houses and you are the heir of a noble house descended from a branch of an ancient and noble family who were kicked out of France for high treason. So by that logic treat your betters with respect you human Cum-stain." turning around and guiding a reading mio the same direction hearing a "Wait till my father hears about this" from behind me, I call over my shoulder "he's a poof"

* * *

Later in the great hall

"... and that's what Malfoy tried to trick me into doing, while mio was hypnotised by a book." I finished to the puffs around me. spotting something shiny out the corner of my eye I feel my instincts go 'oo shiny, lets investigate shiny thing' before I realised it, I was halfway to the Gryffindor table. (carlos: yep that was my doing, fate made me. the bitch. NOW GIVE BACK UMTSHABALALISI WEHLABATHI!) as soon as I got there the human cum-stain had just snatched it out of Neville's hand. now closer to it I identified it as a altered Remembrall, "oi ferret, ya using it wrong." under my breath I said " _strenuous, lepus aures in omnes"_ causing the orb to ejaculate red smoke all over the ferret (carlos: he he ejaculate) resulting in him going into a trance "someone snap him out of it." at my words one of the book ends poked the ferret. The ferret upon being poked unleashed the manliest scream anyone will ever hear *high pitched and really girly its a surprise that the windows didn't shatter* "soo ferret how was meeting the scariest thing ever?" looking around at everyone the ferret unleashed another scream and fainted, upon him dropping I uttered two more spells " _omnia sunt normalis, Ut in perpetuum coma Alba"_ causing Draco's hair to lose all colour and everyone's ears to become normal. (Thana': Points to anyone who figured out the Spells without using a translator.) turning to Neville I held up the now hot pink orb "can I keep this?" amidst the laughter.

Now back to where I parked Mio, as I took a seat Harry asked me "so what is that ball thing?" holding up the orb in question I explained "So my uncle got given one of these by a friend of his, after a while my uncle got bored and started fiddling with the enchantments on it and after a couple 'attempts' he ended up with about 50 of these, they act normal but when activated it unleashes a mist in the face of the nearest person, causing them to experience the specific memory the activator thinks of. funnily enough he was trying to make them actually remind you of what you forgot." From behind a book came "so why didn't he?" swallowing my food I responded "oh, he did, but they had an … issue, they made you remember. Everything all at once, which had the slight side-effect of turning the brain to goop. Yeah they got destroyed soon after Jerry tested one... we don't talk about that." I finished with a sad tone, feeling a comforting hand on my shoulder I turned round to see Cedric. *blink* An older Harry shouting over a still Cedric *blink* _"Mr Diggory's death was a tragic accident" said the pink toad "Yeah like your birth" I shout" *_ blink _*_ "You ok? You zoned out." "What did you see this time Clara?" Harry asked "See? As in visions?" Asked the blond first year 'Hannah I think?' Seeming to detect an opportunity to learn something Hermione's head poked up from behind her book "Please elaborate Clara." letting out a sigh of defeat I started "Alright then, some people are blessed slash cursed with the ability to see glimpses of what could, has or is happening with me so far mio? *nod* good now some that see what could, can randomly give prophesies of what could happen, but 9 times out of 10 they end up self fulfilling as either the person who heard it or someone involved in the prophesy tries to prevent it from happening," (fate: Grr I hate when people do that) "now I'm a 'is about to' to 'could' happen seer, so if I touch something it could trigger a vision. like for example I touched you earlier I got a vision of what you could look like. and no I wont tell anyone how or when they die, cos you'll get fixated on it. An old lord got told he was gonna drown so he moved far from any lake or body of water and hired guards to keep water away from him few week later he got rid of some guards cos one 'tried to drown him' next day it had been raining and he got lost, collapsed face first into a puddle and drowned. Come on mio don't wanna be late for charms" we got up and while walking away I gently pushed a student to the right a bit causing a falling chandelier to fall around them.

* * *

Later that evening.

"Do we have to Mio? I mean its not like they could hurt each other, Harry's never learnt spells and Draco's automatic response is to cry to his dad, what's probably gonna happen is they're gonna flig spark at each other then harry is gonna run up and deck him (punch him in the face) Draco will fall down then run off crying his catch phrase realising he shouldn't pick fights. Then MoRon is gonna embellish it so Harry punched Draco into a trophy cabinet so hard it broke then a few 'slimy' snakes carried Draco away." I said as mio dragged me along the corridor "because they are our friends who we don't want to get into trouble." she said. "MoRon is a parasite that is using you to get through with no effort and probably shit talks us when we aren't around, and harry is an abused child that wasn't allowed to be himself cos no one cared about him, so I'm looking for someone to be a parent to Harry and care about him." intrigued mio asks "what about me?" looking at her I say "when I first met you I saw a bossy know it all bookworm who just had her world view shattered, and thrown in the deep end without being told which way was up and went into her shell as a result." coming round the corner leading up to the trophy room we hear "where the bloody hell is Malfoy?" Then "oh no filch hide!" then hurried footsteps towards us. "not exactly quiet are they?" I remark as we follow them upstairs and to a door hearing Ron say"oh no its locked we're doomed" Quietly walking up behind them I whisper "fortunately for you we're here" with a quick _alohamora_ mio opened the lock and we where inside, quickly I noticed why the room was locked. It contained a large three headed dog that was waking up. "Puppy!" I squeal and rush the Cerberus, once I get close enough I reach forward and start vigorously scratching between the necks causing the dog to go catatonic at my touch. after a while I look back to see everyone a mix of confused and scared "what? she can't reach that spot and the itch there was driving her mad!" harry was the first to snap out of it closely followed by mio and ron who all joined me in giving the big dog affection.

* * *

Halloween-Charms class- Clara Pov

"Today class we will be working on the ability to make things fly or as its commonly known levitation. Wands out everyone!" after a while and a tale on wizard barufio and his buffalo, everyone was attempting to make their feathers fly. I was the first as usual to get it down and was now experimenting with different objects with and without my wand. After a couple minutes I heard moRon say "if your so clever you do it then." looking annoyed mio cast " _Wingardium leviosa_ " causing her feather to do a figure eight in the air and settle gently on the desk. Ron huffed in annoyance and sulked. after the lesson was over me and Mio where talking when we over heard Ron say " **she's a nightmare honestly, it's no wonder no-one likes her.** " at hearing this mio ran off before I had a chance to stop her so I decided to run after her, as I passed Ron I punched him in the jaw, causing him to fall flat on his arse. "you deserved that." I called back as I ran.

I ended up finding mio in the girls bathroom, I went to the sink in front of her stall and lent up against it, "Hey mio you alright?" I called out, hearing a "Go away Clara." I called back "I'd rather make sure my best friend's alright. So open up or ima gonna burn this rare book." Quick as a flash Mio was in front of me looking for the book "what book?" mio asked I reached into my bag and pulled out 'Magical Races of the World first edition' "This book, I was gonna give it to ya for Christmas but I fount something better." handing it to her I smelt rotten fish with a side of rank gym sock, "oh gods what's that horrible stench have the bookends **been eating dung again?** " (Gaia: Points to whoever guesses where that reference is from.) Mio asked, thinking for a moment my eyes shot open in realisation Mio get in the stall and hide, when you get the opportunity sneak towards the door. I'll Keep the troll busy while you get someone." giving me a nod mio ran back in the stall and waited for my distraction.

The troll burst through the door and spotted me instantly and unleashed a roar, (Thana': As Carlos is busy cuddling his fluff ball I'm Standing in for him, Carlos wanted to do a boxing intro for this fight but I can't do the voice.) suddenly it felt as though a more primal part of me awoke as I leapt over the 9ft lump and landed on its back. Seemingly on autopilot my hands ignited with flames and I started punching the troll in the back of the head hard enough for its head to hit it chin on its chest and then meet the next blow, dazed the troll tried and failed to get me off his back, after the 30th punch 'I think' the troll fell over as it landed I heard a crunch as its nose got crushed under the troll's weight.

I stood up from my position on the now prone troll as the door burst open revealing Professors Snape and McGonagall Wands drawn hurrying in. Surveying the room I noticed some of the stalls destroyed along with a geiser erupting from where a toilet once was, noticing the teachers I turned to them and said "Your late." (what the hell is up with Hermione lying in cannon? I mean the truth would be 'I was crying in the bathroom, troll came in I screamed then hid in the cubicle.)

* * *

*Carlos Cam*

We see Carlos sat cuddling a jerboa whispering "there, there umtshabalalisi wehlabathi fate wont hurt you, I'm here, don't worry." Thana' walks in and says "yeah carlos loves that thing, enjoy this Potential future."

* * *

 **Voldemort gets tricked into killing himself by an "immortality device" (a gun)**

In Malfoy manor a daily prophet owl swoops down and gives the Malfoy patriarch its load and flys off opening the paper Lucius spots an ad that Read:

*htaed tech's all new deagle of immortality!

Are you deathly ill? Is the grim reaper looming round the corner? Don't want to die?

Well htaed tech has the solution for you*

The all new immortality deagle! just simply load the bullet Into the chamber point the barrel at the roof of your mouth and pull the trigger! its so simple even a filthy muggle could do it!

Eyes going wide Lucius picks up the paper and swiftly takes it before his Lord who promptly orders "Lucius! Get me one immediately. Then destroy them."

*meanwhile at Hogwarts*

"And how do you know its going to work Clara?" a sixth year mio asks looking at her Clara says "he is a power hungry ideot that has zero sanity left its gonna work... and I put a compulsion on the ad so he wants to get it." after a moment a eagle owl lands in front of me I open the letter and gave the owl a package with htaed tech printed on and a letter and sent the owl on its way "Looks like moldy bought it, tonight's date is definitely on me now mio."

*back at the manor*

Lucius received the package and gave it to his Lord who ordered him to leave, a few moments later there was a loud bang then a thud Lucius hurried in to see Voldemort lied down on the floor with his head missing , a book open next to him and head-bits everywhere looking at the book Lucius spotted.

WARNING: there is a 0.000000000000000000008000000000000000001% chance of immortality use at own risk. Fractured souls increase the likelihood of your eternal soul being used as a wrath demon's plaything for eternity. no refunds. Thanks for the 20,000 galleons sucker!

 **END**


End file.
